i was suddenly very warm and trembling but i wouldn’t quite say it was panic

a couple nights ago i was sitting at the bar at landmark theater, about to see The Irishman for a second time, and Bob was gonna join me but he was running a little late and so i was there by myself, i’d just gotten a beer, and while it isn’t that i was very suddenly panicking, i was feeling a kind of rising warm worry in my chest and neck (about job stuff, money), and so i took this little red notebook outta my back pocket and started scribbling about, “ok, i’m not panicking but…,”

and i was feeling what felt like a slight rise in temperature that was probably all in my head (or just my skin) and my shoulder did this involuntary bounce thing and then Bob showed up, looking a little stressed, and so i slapped my little notebook shut and put it away and we got to talking about his situation at work. it’s a bad one. and so Bob was, like, really not in a good mood, and i was kinda wanting to get back into my notebook so that, at the very least, i could make something of a bloggish diary post about the whole not-panicking thing (i wasn’t panicking, just thinking).

but then i was like, “well is this really content for a blog, or is this just a not-panic situation that i oughtta keep to myself?” still not sure where to draw the line on what’s proper content and what isn’t.

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