i get self-conscious drinking tea, like i don’t deserve it

I went to a small get-together with three colleagues the other night and didn’t get plowed but I drank enough booze over the course of six hours to to wake up with a hangover, to make me sluggish and spacey and kinda ill. Didn’t have an appetite for booze after that but it feels now like my evening cuppa wine while watching a movie or reading or tending the site is an integral part of winding down.

So I went to Walgreens on 8th street and 12th for some Hot Pockets and pens and ended up getting some chamomile tea. Figured I’m in the habit at this point of mindlessly sipping on something, and this’ll probably help me focus on my work better than wine.

So that night I’m at my desk, it’s 8 p.m., I’m jotting some stuff on a legal pad with a big orange mug of tea, and there’s definitely some kinda vibe to it, something self-conscious, probably akin to what most of us feel when we settle into a brown leather armchair with a glass of bourbon. Like there are beverages that have a mood to em.

And for some reason I feel like a poser.

I go for the mug, I scald my mouth with a sip of very tepid tea (I really must be making this wrong), put the mug down and pick my pen back up and get this feeling like, Who the fuck do you think you are?

Hard to shake.

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