why’d i bail on the bret ellis thing?

A couple nights ago I went to see Bret Easton Ellis do a Q&A at Books & Books (Gables location) and while I’ve been a die hard fan of his work for at least fifteen years (I’ve got a lengthy post about that relationship here) there was something about sitting in the crowded east room that night, watching him in conversation with The Miami Herald’s former film critic Rene Rodriguez, that I just felt like I was ready to go. And I left early.

I’d been there for just over an hour, and it was still going on and Ellis was being charming and fun, and on my way out the door I ran into this woman by whom I’m absolutely smitten, she’s a short brunette who I’ve been seeing there on-and-off for I think a couple years now, we’re friendly in passing and always stop for a quick chat about books and the like, and there was part of me, as I’m heading out the door with a fleeting hello, that wanted to stick around because, who knows, maybe I’d have been able to take her for a drink or something. Get to know her better.

Probably not, though. I’m too awkward to gracefully suggest that. Also she was dressed to impress and, ahdunno, the whole thing was kind of intimidating. Also, this kinda thing never works out for me: where I linger someplace thinking that, if I’m just present for a little while longer, I’ll amass the nerve to strike up a conversation with somebody. I also routinely succumb to the Flirtatious Bartender thing where, thinking I’m being flirted with, I stick around longer than I otherwise might, spend more money than I otherwise might, and then, when I’m about to leave and probably sporting some defeat on my face (hard as I try to hide these things, I never fully manage) I’ll leave a larger tip than usual so’s to show my appreciation or whatever, or that I’m not upset.

On the drive back, though I ended up getting caught in a bizarre fucking electrical storm, it seems to’ve encompassed the whole of Miami (look it up: 4/19/19—it was fucking weird, the sky was lighting up green for a solid hour).

I guess it’s good that I didn’t get pinned down in the Gables during that storm and that I didn’t therefore leave my boss’s pets unattended for longer than they’re used to.

Just feels like a strange day overall: I did a decent amount of writing, I went to see one of my favorite writers in person, and then I left the event early after re-structuring my whole day to accommodate it. I was also thinking about walking, that night, to the bar next to my boss’s house, but the electrical storm was crazy so I stayed in and had a granola bar and a stick of cheese and a can of sparkling water for dinner. I was kinda moody about it, but was glad in the morning that I hadn’t blown $20 at the bar (like I’d done the night before).

Now that woman from Books & Books is on my mind again. She’s very much my type, too, in every respect—but more on that later.

Anyway. Back to work.


    • Ahdunno, dude, there’s a quiet that falls around you at screenings. The room falls to whispers. Kind of intimidating. You did a good job with the Q&A, though. Ellis isnt easy to interview in public, I’ve seen it before, kudos on engaging him.


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