thursday

Going out tonight with someone I met on Bumble and there’s the usual AM prep of flossing and trimming the beard and later the beard’ll get lathered in a gloss of wax and oil and aggressively brushed and tugged into some kinda frizz-less discipline after a long shower (throughout which I’ll sing along with probably Tom Waits or Isaac Hayes, practicing a baritone when the apartment’s empty) and cologne’ll get spritzed and I’ll do two turns with mouthwash, brush, maybe a half a cuppa wine if the jitters are heavy – but that’s all pretty much at night. Just before heading out. During the day there’s a whole different kinda prep where I try to stifle the usual overthinking, the excitement and dread, by reading. Pointedly reading. I’ll look at reddit threads about people’s favorite conversation starters. Weird facts. Tonight’s date is a med student and in all my life I’ve read only one book having to do with medicine. Read it closely, though. Lots of underlining and tight-scribbled marginalia. So I crack the book and skim.

            All this prep.

            Nervous.

            Leave the apartment for the bar at 7.

            Hopeful as usual and needing the eggs.